Hello and welcome,

 

Christie here,

 

I want to take a moment to welcome you to this page.

 

The intention for this page is to provide as much support as I can and if there's something you feel could add value here, please email christie@christieflynn.com. Please feel free to come back to this page

as I continue to add more resources from time to time.

 

Loss and Grief are among the most challenging things we deal with in life. Significant loss of all types can disrupt our lives in many ways. It affects our mind, body, and spirit; unaddressed can change our path. This blog is meant to be a guide to help you with your personal, unique grief process, helping you through the often-difficult winding path of grief, from the initial shock to recovering meaning in your life. Whether you are experiencing grief or the support network for the griever, this book is intended for you. A grief shared is a grief transformed.

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Looking back on my personal experience, I wish that I had received as much support during my many losses as I hope to share here. 

We can experience hope, healing, well-being, and growth, even in the face of loss, when it seems nearly impossible. By having the tools and techniques to assist us with shifting our thoughts, new actions, and ways of being, we can rediscover Meaning, which can act as a medicine—helping to heal our suffering and ease our pain. Even in life’s darkest and most difficult moments, slowly, step by step, it is possible to find our way back to the light and move away from the pain that holds us back, to live a life with Meaning and Purpose once more.

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Although many grief experts outline the various stages of grief, these are only guidelines. People have very different experiences when it comes to grief, and it doesn’t always look like the “textbook” definition. No set of emotions in a particular order is considered acceptable. There is no right or wrong way to grieve!

When grieving, people experience a wide range of emotions that are not always expected and that’s okay. During times of suffering, it’s normal to experience a process of exploring the unique meaning of the individual’s loss and what it means to them.

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A common question arises: "Who am I now without this person, and who will I be?” This process of making meaning out of loss can look like questioning or exploring the nitty-gritty details of the loss. It can also involve asking what this loss says about them as a person, the entire state of the world, or even God. 

Eventually, people can begin to rebuild their lives in a way that makes sense to them, even when faced with significant loss. 

Loss is a tricky subject, as no one protocol or template for grief will answer all questions or guarantee a smooth grieving process.

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1. Express your grief - If you want to cry, cry. If you're going to feel anger, allow yourself to do so. Express your sorrow and learn about it. Acknowledging your feelings will help you move forward. Allow yourself to be, listen, and feel anything coming up for you.

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2. Surround yourself with supportive people—Find friends or family members who accept and understand your grief. Many people feel as if they must hide their sadness around others, and that can disrupt the healing process. This can lead to isolation and increased sadness. Instead, surround yourself with people who are comfortable with your grieving process and allow you to express yourself fully when needed.

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3. Be gentle with yourself - There is no specific timeframe in place for someone to accept their loss and move on from grieving. Don’t judge yourself harshly for ‘not doing better’ or ‘taking too long’ along the way. Trust the timing of your process. 

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4. Pace yourself - Grieving can be exhausting. Allow yourself extra time to rest and process all that is happening. Don’t overbook your schedule or make too many commitments. 

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 5. Allow yourself to have fun—Allow yourself the opportunity to do things you love. Whether it is a hobby, spending time with a friend who always makes you laugh, or being spontaneous and setting off on an adventure, incorporate joy into your life, even if it is just a little at a time. 

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6. Make a list of activities each day—It is common to experience forgetfulness when grieving. Making a list of goals or activities that need to be done will help you stay on track. Keep the list short and include only important activities.

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7. Journal - A journal is a tool that allows you to express yourself safely. Let your feelings flood the paper, whether it is sadness, anger, disappointment, or regret. Sometimes, writing is the best conduit for communicating what can be easily communicated vocally. Finding a safe and personal way to do so will help in processing such feelings. An exciting activity many have found helpful is writing a letter to someone you lost with your dominant hand. Then, please write back a letter from them with your non-dominant hand.

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8. Breathe—Breathing exercises are one of the most helpful things you can do when you are grieving or stressed. They will deepen your connection to your body and help you bring conscious awareness to the present moment. Emotional and physical tension in your body will be released, and your mind can take a break from worrying about the past or future, which is often a side effect of grief. Find a quiet space where you can practice daily. 

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9. Exercise and move your body—Emotions often get stuck in the body, and the more we move, the more we allow the body to release any stuck pain and emotion. Exercise also helps boost dopamine and serotonin, the “feel-good” hormones that can improve your mood. It’s also beneficial for people dealing with anxiety and panic attacks.

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Books:

Healing Your Grieving Heart - Alan D. Wolfelt. Ph.D.

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