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5 Ways to Honor and Remember Your Mother on Mother's Day

Updated: May 10


Young Girl In a Field of Daisies
Young Girl Standing in a Field of Daisies

Hello and welcome to today's blog.


Honoring a loved one after a loss can be challenging. It's not easy to articulate what we want or need. That can change from one moment to the next and years later too.


One single day can be filled with joy and grief at the same time.


It’s no mystery why this kind of loss hurts so much and takes so long to heal. Recovering from the loss of a mother, a maternal figure, or someone who provided you with the love you needed is a process that requires time. While Mother’s Day is generally considered to be a day of celebration, for many others it is a day of pain and loss for a variety of reasons.


If this is your first Mother's Day dealing with your loss.... go easy on yourself. If you don't feel like doing anything, that's okay too.


If you go on the Internet from a laptop or phone or are just engaged in the world, you know when it’s Mother’s Day season, especially at the grocery or corner store. But besides the holiday season, few things sting more than the first Mother’s Day without your mom. It’s just not the same, something’s missing.


When my mother passed in May of 2003, I was prepared to feel sad on that day or even a bit lost at times. I wasn’t prepared to watch and witness other people with their moms or the commercialism leading up to the day. Even conversations around that day seemed to make my eyes well up at times. This has eased a lot but despite time, there will be days when grief raises its head and reminds me of how much I miss her in the physical world.


I do feel the body has a way of tracking the lead-up to the month and time of a loved one's passing. Our brains and body's systems have a way of detecting and keeping track, almost instinctual of a particular time. Almost preparing us for the day ahead rather than a more intense feeling of grief. This is why I feel it might surprise you may feel a bit of sadness around this time.




My Mom, Shelley Flynn in her nursing uniform.
My Mom, Shelley Flynn in her nursing uniform.

The picture above is one of my favorite pictures of my mother. She has the best laugh instilled in my mind. An unforgettable laugh and a smile that made you feel loved. I felt it and everyone who knew her felt it.


Are you finding it difficult to honor your mother or motherly figure?


Try not to overthink it too much.


If you don’t know quite what to do, it is okay to honor and celebrate your mother in your way can be as simple as thinking of her and a particular memory. Maybe consider doing something she enjoyed, or making a favorite meal or dessert. I found one of my mom's cookbooks and decided on homemade granola for breakfast. I'll be making her chicken soup this week too, not just on the day. It's one way that I find helps to keep her memory alive not just on Mother's Day but throughout the year too. I do spiritually connect with her all the time but making a recipe is one way that I have a different kind of connection with her.


Permit yourself to do whatever you feel is right and good for you.


Perhaps a simple gesture with her in mind. It doesn’t have to be anything too fancy or something that would be too much for you. I remember lighting a candle for my mom at home and resting it beside a picture of us together. I even put on one of her rings and still wear it from time to time.


Anytime you show your love for your mother in some way, it helps to continue to feel her in your heart. There's no need to reserve it for or complete it on ONE specific day. I also like to check in with my brother and sister on that day and throughout the year on special days unique to us. We all need a community to care for our losses and others too.


Please keep in mind that no matter how big or small, as a way to continue the celebration of her life, it’s possible to bring some love, memories, and goodness to the day. The gift of empathy is incredibly powerful and makes a world of difference.

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

How can you honor and remember this day in a way that feels right and good for you?


Hearts Floating in the Air


  1. Gathering with family at a favorite restaurant, sharing stories and your love for her.

  2. Plant a tree or favorite flower in her honor. Our family planted a lilac tree on our properties. Even if I’ve moved I always plant a lilac in her honor.

  3. Light a candle in her honor.

  4. If there’s a specific burial in her honor, place flowers, a dime, or a candle.

  5. Visit a special location that she loved and spend some time reflecting on memories that you shared.

  6. Bonus: Play a favorite song in her honor. Joy, happiness, and playfulness get to be included in this day too.


Each year forward usually gets a little easier. Happy memories do have a way of finding their way back into your mind. Her smile, her laugh, her stories, and her unique qualities.


Moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting either. You carry her with you in your heart, your memories intertwined forever. It’s a soul bond that you hold together. Your memories are a collection of moments in time, some challenging, some insightful, ever so wonderful, and simple ones that are magical beyond words.


Remember to take care of yourself. I've expressed this to many friends and clients over the years. I know I appreciated the reminders and help along the way. Nature nurtures us in the most wonderful way that can't be duplicated by a phone, monitor, or TV. Even if you don't feel like it, you'll thank me and yourself when you do. (Please make sure you're getting support in the way that you deserve and need).


Nature nurtures...


Take a moment on this particular day whether it's in the sunlight, a little rain, or a walk to a park. Look up, way, way up into the sky and beyond. You never know what your eyes will wander upon and catch as a reminder that her spirit is alive in many other ways too. Whether it’s a red cardinal, a white dove, a robin, a blackbird, a blue jay, or even an owl, our loved ones look over you, stand by you, and let you know in some way that they are with you. Sometimes it’s a visual representation, a feeling, a knowing, or even a dream.


A reflective exercise to consider…


Writing Journal to share your stories and memories.


Memories bring the past to the present moment. What are your favorite memories, stories, celebrations, wisdom, quotes, or even a particular saying that you smile? Jot down anything in a journal or a notepad that’s heartwarming, funny, or how she helped you that you can remember. I wrote in a journal after my mother’s passing and it’s always nice to look back at what I wrote, remembered, and add more to the stories too. It’s nice to share them too. My mom told a few jokes over the years and I love to remember one she shared, her love of music (Bonnie Raitt, The Irish Rovers, and C.C.R., Anne Murray too). You could use a bookmark in your journal associated with a particular memory.


She’ll always be with you.


A favorite poem I found for this message today.


When you’re a child she walks before you

To set an example.

When you’re a teenager she walks behind you

To be there should you need her.

When you’re an adult she walks beside you

So that as two friends you can enjoy life together.


—Unknown


As you navigate this day and your loss, may that path be gentle, loving, and healing. If anything, I hope that what I learned from my experience from 2003 until now is learning how to advocate for myself and pass that along to others in the best way that I can.

 

Feel free to share with me how you prefer to celebrate this day in the comments below or email me at christie@christieflynn.com.


Thank you for joining today's blog and message. I hope that it has helped you in some way.


Sending love,


Christie





Christie Flynn, Psychic Medium, Mom, Sister, Partner, and Inspired Writer













 

Recommended books:


Healing After the Loss of Your Mother by Elaine Mallon (I refer back to this one from time to time.


Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief – David Kessler (This one is best on audible. He has a soothing voice. He's written a few books on grief which helped with his grief recovery after the loss of his wife).



Navigating Grief: A Guided Grief Journal: Book with therapeutic writing prompts to help heal after experiencing the loss of a loved one – By Xeroxfour Publishing


I use journals for a variety of reasons. Sometimes it helps to put pen to paper as a way of giving experience a place to land. It's a form of writing therapy for the mind, body, spirit, and soul.


**This post may contain affiliate links. If you make a purchase using the links in this article, I might earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Please see my full disclosure for further information.




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